It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is my gift to your gina
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
