Dude my mom stole all your condoms
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
