Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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