They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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