idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
