i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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