9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
