Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
