Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
