So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
