im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
