if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
