Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
