If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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