i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
