all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
