There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
