Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
