Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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