remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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