She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
