Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
