Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
