you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
