i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He has the fingertips of a God
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