I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
