Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i would punch a child for taco bell
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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