There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
