I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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