Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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