Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it's like iHOP with fire
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
