OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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