i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
