....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
