Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she looked like the before picture.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
