all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
