my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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