Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i came on her dog
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
