She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
