I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
