no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
