What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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