i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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