if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
