Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize