The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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