he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
