Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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