i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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