alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
