so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize