As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
