her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
