i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
