And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
