wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
