But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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