i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
