Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize