At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
