Only a mothe r could love this liver
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
