Tell her she can't have a vagina
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
