Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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