Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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