My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
