38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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