Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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