i just had sex bonerless
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
