Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
