he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize