In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I believe in your delicious
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
