Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
