i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
