So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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