You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
