Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
