she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize