i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
